Twenty-Five Days of Christmas – Bah Humbug

It’s almost over and the spirit is fading.

I’ll turn on some Christmas music, trying to find something I haven’t listened to twenty-five times this season. Sing along praying I didn’t miss anyone in my last minute shopping. Double and triple check the list before the stores close for the last time before the big day. Probably threaten to cancel the whole thing four more times before my little guy goes to sleep for him acting up while watching Christmas specials.

We will sit down and read a good Christmas story, something with a positive, happy message. I’ll tell my boy, “All I want for Christmas is a good kid.” He’ll roll his eyes and ask what else. I’ll get a huge hug as he skirts off to bed with sugar plum fairies dancing in his head.

I’ll spend the night setting up for Santa. Wrapping last minute packages and trying not to curse over a broken nail or two. Even with the preparation of extra batteries, I’m sure I’ll run out. Extra tape, probably not enough. I’ll fill the stockings with all the little goodies and fruit, and try to remember those times when I woke up in the morning to a beautiful tree. Then laugh over every year when my mother said, “Bah Humbug”.

I’ll eat the cookies and drink the milk, careful not to leave lipstick on the glass. Adding more to my holiday eating. Fall into bed well after one and be up bright and early with the camera ready for smiles that make it all worth it.

Merry Christmas to all and to all a Good Night!

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Twenty-Five Days of Christmas – Don’t you dare give him that!

Don’t give my son a noisy toy then send him home. I’m telling you now, forget that Santa’s watching…Mommy is. That toy will be only to play with at your house. I don’t care how popular it is. I see no way anything that noise could help motor functions, unless you consider covering your ears developmental. Yes I want him to be musically inclined but if it makes the same racket as banging on the pots and pans…he’s already got that covered.

I do not want anything that has the possibility of screaming, cackling, popping, whirling, whizzing at three A.M until I break down and retrieve it from the child’s bed. If this happens, expect a phone call every time my sleep is disturbed.

Do not give my child anything living. Either it won’t be alive for long or it will be lost in my house. Again,  if the lost, living thing wakes me. I wake you!

Do not give him anything sticky. If I must retrieve a toy from the ceiling, wall, cat’s fur, then it is not appropriate. If I must use a spatula, cleaning solution, or vacuum it does not belong to my child.

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Do not give him something to torment, tie up, maim or eventually kill the cat with. If there is even a possiblity of these actions, and do remember this is my son we are speaking of, then do not do it.

My darling nieces, and little girl cousins whom I love so dearly…I may not live with them but do not give them slutty dolls. Skimpy outfits and breasts larger than mine are not good roll models.

Do not give them makeup. The cat, gerbil, and dogs will not look good running around with pink toe nails, blue eye shadow and ruby red lips.